North Facing Houses, and why you should avoid them...

ICE AND SNOW NEVER MELT OFF OF YOUR DRIVEWAY.
That's pretty much the reason why.


The ice on our driveway was 4 inches thick.
Think I'm kidding? Check out the ice chunks
That JRP is throwing in the road.



Then notice that he is doing this
In his shirt and tie,
And dress pants and fancy shoes.
He got home from work and
"Just wanted to get it done"

Cohen thought that this was the coolest thing ever.


JRP started slinging it really high so Cohen
could watch it crash on the road.
Boys are so weird.
Watching ice smash onto the road is mesmerizing,
evidently.



Then JRP felt bad for leaving
great big ice chunks
in the street.

(I said who cares.)

So he then spent the next 20 minutes
breaking the chunks up with the shovel.



Cohen thought this was cool as well.
(Like I said, boys are weird.)
And tried to help.


Then he cheesed it up for me.

So once again, you can see my driveway,
and it is not a major hazard
to navigate when coming to my house.
Thank you honey for putting on such a entertaining show,
and for getting rid of my ice.
I appreciate both.

The Awful, Horrible, No good, Very Bad Day

I have sometimes used the phrase
"I think that the world is conspiring against me today."
Well
today
was
one
of
those.

I have been working out for weeks.
weeks i tell you.
The pouring sweat, knees weak,
gasping for breath working out.
haven't lost a pound.

My husband only gets paid once a month
i was so excited because today was the day
i finally had some money.
His car broke down on the way home from work
Completely out of the blue.
I now have no money.

I hold out hope for the tax return
But you can't get a tax return without a w2
and my employer is the slowest on the planet evidently.
Still nothing today.
And its the 27th!

I need to go in to work tonight
to earn money
to fix the car
but my husband is at a Spurs/Jazz game
and my brother in law is MIA
and I don't want to drive an hour round trip
to take them to my sisters
when I am only going to be working
for two hours.

I have a migraine.
And my house is a mess.
Again.

I probably need to start praying now
that tomorrow will be better.
Because I don't want another today
Tomorrow.

Getting Ready

Did you look this good when you left for church this morning?


Don't be intimidated!
You can look this good too!

Eat the frosting only off of three donuts...


Then sneak your mom's mascara off the counter
when she is in the shower.
Smear freely all over your face.

See? Piece of cake.
Comment for further instructions.
Kisses.
Kenna

Weekend Wishes

Wishing you a warm and cozy weekend



With Love,
The One Boot Wonder

For Your Viewing Pleasure

I love mornings when I wake up, and it looks like this.



We haven't had one this week


Due to the nasty inversion pollution that is making everything,



Even the sky, look dingy and gray.


Don't even ask if this is my house.
I wish.
Its at the end of my street
and I thought it looked like a postcard.
Beautiful.

Unlike the sky now.

Snow and cover up the nasty
or
Let it all melt.

The yucky in between is depressing.

Snow Much Fun

What do you get when you combine a cold cloudy sunset

And a nasty dirty pile of snow?


An awesome sledding adventure!


Or so my kids thought.


Cohen

(I was so sure he would hate it that I almost didn't let him go out)


Giggled from the top of the hill to the bottom


and was so anxious to get as many turns as possible
that he started hauling the broken chunk of sled up the hill.


Warning: this is only possible
for someone with a VERY little bum.
Every one else gets snow wedgies when they try this.
Ask me how I know.



The only problem came when he got to the bottom.


Anyone seen the Christmas Story?
Aww...come on guys, come on.


Bryn decided that she was just fine
supervising events from the bottom of the hill
and cheering on everyone that made it down

Princess B

is not exactly a snow bunny.

She hates to be cold.

Uncle Ryan convinced her otherwise.
She rocked that little green sled.

Kenna,
ever the independent one
wanted to do the big hill
"BY MYSELF!"
(How do 3 year olds know what by "myself" is?)
I wouldn't have done it, it was so steep.
She shot like a rocket clear across the field.
And headed right back up to go again.

Caden and Ryan tag teamed the "jump"
(it was a foot or so bump, but you know,

"THE JUMP!")

Shoot.
We might as well call them
Kobe Bryant they caught so much air.
Yeah, not so much, but it thrilled the pants off Caden.

"Did you see that mom?"
"Did you see us do the jump?"
"I saw it buddy, that was way cool!"
"Yeah, I know."

Fun was had all around.
I even went down the hill in my work out clothes
and fuzzy pink slippers.
No pictures necessary.

I effectively ruined Cohen's entire life,
or at least five minutes of it,
by bringing him inside before he was ready.

But I plan to buy his affection back
by buying a new sled tomorrow.

I have the utmost confidence
that all will be forgiven.

Love for the Binky

We are trying to lose the Binky,
so whenever Cohen takes it out
or sets it down in the morning
I take it
and hide it
until nap time.

He has learned of this evil deed
and now keeps an eagle eye out.

He has learned to multitask so I can't take it
while he is not looking.



Two fingers on the shake,
and two on the binky.

The other hand is clutching the blanket.

Victory is MINE!

"Another battle won, but not the war"
"But tomorrow's another day,
and I'm thirsty anyway"
"So Bring on the Rain"

Thank you JoDee Messina for phrasing it so well.

Potty Wars

Does this look like a happy face?


What about this?


Or this?


Imagine what my face looked like.

I hate potty training.


She actually started to fall asleep while crying on the potty
because I would not let her get up until she pooped
and after 15 minutes of crying she was nodding off.



I hate today
because today I am a mean mom
who doesn't want to clean out one more
pair of poopy underwear
or clean up one more puddle of pee.
I don't have pictures of my kids smiling on the potty.
Potty training in this house is like waging war
I hate it.
Obviously so do my kids.

Gag, gag, throw up in my mouth, gag

Wanna hear something gross?
You better believe I did not take pictures of this.
No illustrations necessary.

Kenna came running into Caden's room where I was tidying up

"Mom, Mom, Cohen is eating poop."

"What?"

"Moooommmm...Cohen is eating poop!"

"How did he get poop?"

You see at this point I wasn't so concerned.
We had made no bake cookies a few days before
and I thought he must be eating one of those.

Because even though it is 11:00 am.
My kids are still in their jammies,
and cohen's are zippered with feet,
so even if he pooped,
the chances of him getting to it to eat it were slim.

"On the floor, he's eating it."

"Where did he get poop?"

Kenna pulled out her most innocent face and said
"I don't know mom. He's just eating it."

"Did you poop in your underwear Kenna?"

We're struggling right now, both with lying,
and with pooping in the potty.

"No mom. I didn't."

So i walked into the hall and sure enough.
There is my 20 month old son
trying to spit and claw stuff out of his mouth.
saying "uh oh, ucky, ucky, ma, ucky"

So there were not only poop pellets on my carpet,
but also chewed up slobbery bits of poop that Cohen had spit everywhere.

"Kenna!"

"Sorry mom, sorry. I go sit in time out."

"Did you poop in your panties?"

Big blue eyes filling with tears, head bent,
"I wanna say sorry. I wanna say sorry."
"I'm sorry mom, I'm sorry"

Don't feel bad for her!

Feel bad for me!

She is the consummate little actress.
She can whip out the tears at any moment.

If she was really sorry she would poop in the dang toilet
so I wasn't cleaning out underwear EVERY DAY!
AND... and this is a big and
SHE WOULDN'T LET HER
LITTLE BROTHER
EAT POOP!

IF she was really sorry.

ugh.

I loved this day...

My mom was always saying

Why can't you guys just get along?
Why can't you all be friends?

I never got it.

Now that I am a mom,
I find myself wailing
"Why can't you just get along?"
"Be friends!"

And they look at me like I am nuts.

But every once in a while I get a day like this day
(It was in October)

Even with a million other kids in the play place
They were friends.


Sliding

Running


Playing.

I get it now.
This made my heart happy.
I loved this day.

Girls Just Want to Have Fun!

So my last post was a little depressing
Lets be honest.


But today
there were no down feelings

There were pedicures



and manicures

and sitting in a massaging chair
while my feet soaked in hot bubbly water.
Ahhh... Bliss



And the best of friends to share it with.



And the best of food to savor and enjoy.



Thank you, thank you, Holly and Cory.


Holly, because you are the best of best friends
You know me better than I know myself I think,
and you shared your Christmas present with me and Caitlin

Cory because that is the
rockinest Christmas Present ever.
Truly.
Who are you?
Who thinks of a giving the gift
of an entire girls night out to their wife?
and then offers to watch ALL of the kids?
It was perfect.
Thank you.