Oh I wish i was an...

Oscar Meyer Wiener!

Do you know how cool this is?
Do you know how lucky I am?

How many of you have seen the wiener mobile in person?
Huh?
How many?


I thought it was an urban myth or something.
Nope.
Totally real
and
Totally Cool.


Thank you to my dad for instilling in me
a love of Oscar Meyer beef franks
and for teaching me all the words to the song
so that they could be stuck in my head for the rest of the day
after I was so lucky as to see this awesome sight.


You guys are jealous.
You know you are.

While the Mom's Away, the Kids WILL Play

Mom has her CNA Classes this weekend.
All day Saturday
And all day Sunday


You know what that means right?


Party with Dad.


You wanna come?


You have to dance like this if you do.


Don't be shy- We'll teach you all the good moves.


She never has to know.

Spinning aka Self Imposed Torture

Today was my first official spin class
(Monday was the intro class)


I didn't fall off
I didn't pass out
I didn't throw up
I didn't cut my shins open with an out of control pedal
I don't think my butt bones are permanently damaged
(but that remains to be seen)

I did managed to make it out the door.

Thats about all the good news I can think of.

Try it sometime and let me know what your successes are.

They are messing with the wrong chick

Two different groups of people attempted to scam me today.

TWO! IN ONE DAY!

What is this world coming to?

At 10:30 I got a text on my cell phone
It said your debit card has been deactivated for security reasons.
Call this number to reactivate it.

No people, I am not stupid, I didn't buy it for a second.
I was just curious what it would say.

It was a recording asking to enter my card number and press #
and then enter my pin number and press #

Are you kidding me?

I immediately called my bank and they apologized and said that they had nothing to do with it and it was happening all over and for all different banks.

One more time,
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

Then, just as I am starting to simmer down from the fury of the first rip off


I get this letter in the mail from
American Direct Promotions INC
Saying that I had won a sweepstakes that I was entered into
simply by shopping at local stores and using my Visa.
Sounds fishy huh?

Also in the letter is a check.
A real check.
Called my bank and checked it out.
A real check.


For a fraction of the total amount.
This check I was supposed to deposit.
Then when it cleared I was supposed to wire a portion of it to some company
to cover taxes and fees.
Once this was done they would send me a certified check for the rest of the amount.

I called the company from the letter.
They had Indian accents,
and at the risk of sounding prejudice and rude,
I immediately knew something was up.
They confirmed the story and said that they were a second party company
hired to dispense winnings for the main lottery company.
They explained to me again what they wanted me to do and assured me it was legit.

I turned to the handy dandy google search and found this
Ripoff Report.com

I called my bank and they also thought it was a scam.
They said that the money would be put into my account, then I would use it
and then the check would be returned and it would be my own money that was lost.

At the risk of sounding like a broken record
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

Who could do this? Who could rip off innocent people?
I didn't fall for it, but you know that there are people out there that will!

I called that dirty rotten nasty man in Canada right back
and let him know exactly what I thought of him.
I assure you that swear words were involved.
I told him I was reporting him and his company
to local authorities, and to whom it may concern in Canada.

When I paused in my tirade he said
"Ma'am? are you finished?"
I spluttered a little and he continued
"Good, then have a nice day."
and hung up

He didn't even deny it.
I can't even think of a word bad enough to describe how I feel about people like that.

You want to call him and tell him that he is despicable? Please do!
Annoy the crap out of him.
1-778-858-0420 or 1-604-716-0703

Don't fall for it
Don't do it
Tell all of you friends and loved ones not to do it.
It is too good to be true.

I am calling Get Gephardt at my local news station.

Like I said

They are messing with the wrong chick!

Some girl is gonna snatch him right up.

My sister-in-law Amy and I
Did a swap day.
She watched my kids for 4 glorious hours in the AM
and I watched hers for some in the PM.

I didn't really know what to do with myself.
So I put on my new boots.
(I will definitely post on their sweetness)
and my new shirt
and grabbed my new purse
and was off to explore
all the little shops that I can't ever explore
when I have three kids with me
and then Costco and WalMart.
It was even more fabulous than I could have imagined.

Near the end of my liberation
I stopped to get Caden from school.

He walked out
looked me up and down
and said,
"Wow mom, you look really pretty."
and then
"I like your new purse."

I snatched him right up in the parking lot
and kissed his face.
How could I not?
What a little man.
That 10 seconds was better than the whole morning
of wandering aimlessly.
MMmmm...
my little mommy heart warms every time I think of it.

I still had 45 minutes of freedom left
so I took that little man out to lunch
because he noticed my new purse,
and he told me I was pretty.

He deserved that cookie that came with his lunch!

Handi Andi goes to school

Ugh.

So I have worked at
New Haven Residential Treatment Center
for hmmm...
At the end of this month it will be 7 years.


6 of those years I worked full time.
5 of them as a Residential Supervisor.


After Cohen was born I just couldn't do it anymore.
Neither could Holly who went from babysitting baby Caden
to babysitting Caden, Kenna, Cohen,
(and taking care of her own child, Princess B)

I hung up my supervisor hat
and went on call.


This means I had no set schedule,
and I could pick up shifts when I wanted.
This was lovely.
My kids thought so too.
They were being shuffled from one place to another most of the week.

I also started helping out the nursing department
They said that if I got my CNA I could transfer over
from Residential to Nursing.
This meant amazing hours and a little less stressful work.

Those of you who really know me are probably laughing their heads off right now.
I don't do blood and guts and cuts and catheters, etc, etc.
Yuck, just don't do it.

But I really love the other nurses,
and the nursing director, Megan


She and I have worked together for lots of years.
And she is a really good friend.

How could I pass this up?
I couldn't.
So I did some internet research and found this.


And the best part was that they offered weekend classes.
(9 hours a day but done in two and a half weekends.)

The stupid part was I hadn't been to school in 7 years.
I have a bachelors from BYU
and I was nervous to go to a class that you don't even have to graduate
from high school to qualify for.


I packed my backpack the night before.
Two pens, two pencils
A spiral notebook
A highlighter
Some healthy snacks
some not healthy snacks.
Two bottles of water.
I even laid out my outfit.
Yep, I'm a nerd.

I was terrified that I was going to be the class joke.
Ryan thought this was funny.
He thought I was kidding.
I wasn't.
I have a healthy fear of failing.
Never failed a class in my life.
Before my senior year at BYU I had never even gotten a C
EVER.

I went to bed early
and triple checked my alarm.
Went over and over the directions.
I got there 15 minutes early and watched my classmates trickle in.
Some were in pajamas.
Half of them didn't even bring a pen with them.
Some put their heads down on their desk and immediately went to sleep.


There was the hippy lady who kept telling us about her naked natural childbirth
Then the janitor in the ER who kept telling us all the "cases" she worked on.
The engaged couple sitting in front of me
who kept kissing and rubbing each others thighs.
The girl who took care of her 83 yr old Grandma and kept saying how she
was so constipated that her poop was like rocks.
The 18 year old that talked and whispered to her neighbors the WHOLE time.
I wanted to throw one of my two pencils at her.
Or bang my head against the wall.

I may be one of the few sane people in my class.
And one of the maybe 5 out of 40 who payed any attention.

We'll see how next weekend goes.

The Love Continues

This post is about several new loves.

1. The Nook and Cranny
2. Cape Cod Red Glass Dishes



First, the above mentioned store
The Nook and Cranny.
I lived in Lehi for 5, yes 5, years
before I discovered its wonders.

I drove by it often
and to be honest,
its looks like a junk store
A junky junk store.
But oh, the treasures that it holds.

Kenna's Darling Iron Bed came from the N&C
$30

Trinkets, crafts, antiques, furniture, and yes, some junk.
Its an adventure every time.
Cool Candlesticks
$5

You never know what you will find there.
And they will ALWAYS make you a deal
if you are brave enough to ask for it.

I have now hauled most of my friends,
and most relatives that come to visit to the N&C.
I always have to preface it by saying,
I know it looks scary, but it has the coolest stuff!

Awesome Frame, added a mirror
Frame $10 Mirror $15
(please ignore the mess reflected in the mirror)

Holly is a believer
She helps me lure people there.
She collects these cool insulators.
$4 -$10 a piece, depending on size and color



Caitlin, who is the most anti junk, anti clutter person I know
Is a believer.

She bought her kitchen chairs there.
2 for $30

My friend Kim now cruises there every couple weeks.

Its always different, there is ALWAYS a new treasure
(and more junk)

Hideous Pig Pill Case $5
(only at the N&C would you find something like this!)
Aunt Mary and I have a competition
to see who can find the best (aka most unique) pig presents
I Totally Win this Round
(Mary if you are seeing this, you didn't see this!)


At the N&C there is this hutch.

I love it.
It is antique and shamelessly shabby
and bright yellow on the bottom.
It would look perfect in my kitchen.



Displaying my next love.

My red dish/glass collection.
I am in love with the AVON Cape Cod dishes collection
Its deep blood red, and hard to find in an entire set
I have been collecting bits and pieces,

and then other red glass ware that catches my fancy.
Nothing Cheapy looking.
Unique and Cool.

How divine would it look on the hutch?
Divine.

My Birthday is coming up.
All those of you who love me,
really really love me.
You now know.

I have been addicted to ebay
and the N&C looking for more.

Mmm... Cape Cod Red
Warms my heart.

Mmm...the N&C
quickly becoming my favorite shopping experience.

Love at first sight

See this?


I love it.
Really, really, Love it.

My amazingly talented and artistic sister in law
is the creater of Black Eiffel
She posts all kinds of lovelies all the time.
Several times a day.

I am totally going to build this in Caden's room

I start the hunt for wood today.

Wish me luck.

(Now if only I had the awesome bags and boots from the picture)

Taking a Sick Day

Cohen called in sick this morning.

He made the call at about 1 am.
I picked him up for a snuggle
and he promptly puked in my hair
and down my chest.
As I opened my mouth to scream for Ryan
He puked again
This time it splashed across my face
and into my mouth.


I guess I will allow him
to use one of his 5 allotted sick days today
After all
a 103* fever
Lime green snot
A hacking cough
Ear infections (bulging so the doctor says) in both ears
and puking in his mom's mouth
is evidence enough that he really is sick.
He even has a doctors note to prove it.


I think I am going to enforce the policy
of no two sick days in a row at our house.
Starting tomorrow.
The Boss doesn't know
if she can keep the company running
if her attendance is constantly down for the count.

(Besides, its just too sad to see the little man feeling so under the weather!)

You know what today is right?

Preschool Valentines Party Day of course!


Hence the red sweatshirt and the bag o' goodies

Ryan (a.k.a. the best husband and dad on the planet)

Sat down with Caden and helped him craft his signature
on all 25 Spiderman 3D Valentines in the box
No easy task.



When I picked him up he had his bag proudly clutched in both hands
and announced to me that his friends gave him candy
and even some girls too.

I asked him if the big pink one was from his girlfriend
and with the most disgusted sigh
and an eye roll
"No mom, that's from my teacher, Mrs. Tonya,
she's not a girl, she's a teacher."
"I think she's a girl too."
"Oh, but not my girlfriend, that's gross."

You just go on thinking that girlfriends are gross for 16 more years Caden.
You can save yourself some major money on Valentines that way
That is fine with me.

Wanna Get Your Butt Kicked?

See this thing?
It looks harmless right?
It will kick your trash!

Don't believe me?

So we all know I am a chub a lub
these past few years I can't even say that
I was trying too hard Not to be one.
Sure, who doesn't want to look waif slim and beautiful
(See all of my tiny sister in laws, and several of my tiny friends.)
But I for some laughable reason
thought that it would just go away someday
and I would magically return to normal.
Ha...ha ha...ha ha ha ha.

Well I just can't take it anymore.
I can't.
SO...
I decided to use the gym membership
that I have been paying for since June.
Starting January 2nd I started going every day,
well, 5 or 6 days a week.
Starting two weeks ago,
My hubby, who is not chubby, has started coming along.
Sara, our trainer, works with both of us.

So its not like I am hot
or have lost a million pounds
but I can now feel the muscles firming up under the chub.
I was starting to have a little more confidence in my abilities
(remember "Fat Girl Got Skills" from several posts ago?)

Then I met the stairmaster stairmill.
Its like the eternal escalator from hell.
I can eliptical and burn some major calories
I can do the bike (not my favorite) for an hour
I can jog a mean 2 miles on the treadmill
without too much difficulty
Not pleasant, but doable.

After 2 minutes on this baby
I was blowing steam
and my legs were cramping
from hip to toe.

By 5 minutes, I was POURING sweat
No dainty perspiration or "glowing" here.
Red faced, dripping from my chin.

By 7 minutes, I warned Ryan
that I was quitting at 10.
And I am not a workout quitter.

I was turning to the side and going up sideways
so that different muscles would take the brutal assault.
My chest was heaving for breath
and I was draped over the hand rails.

By 12 minutes Ryan was chanting don't quit don't quit
and counting down the minutes in 30 second intervals.
8 minutes left, 7.5 mintues left, 7 minutes left
Don't quit, don't quit, don't quit.

He was doing it too
on the stairmill right next to me.
He was sweating a little and huffing and puffing a little
This means that it is super hard.
He burns 350 calories on an eliptical in thirty minutes.
And doesn't sweat.
That is hard.
He even admitted that it hurt really bad.
And he kept trucking.

By 14 minutes I was truly afraid
that at any minute my tripping feet were going to miss
and I was going to end up in a pile at the bottom.
I could barely see the countdown for all the sweat that was burning
as it ran in streams into my eyes.

I made it to 20 minutes. Barely.
and forget the cool down.
I just rode the moving stairs to the bottom and
found the nearest bench.

Not that they will ever read it
but I need to apologize to all of the buff men
that I thought were going girly
when I walked by them on the stairmaster.
My true respesct and admiration they have won.

Don't take my word for it
Go and try it for yourself
None of those pedal stairmasters,
that is not the same (I have done those too, so I know!).

I think I have found my measuring stick.
When I can do the stairmill for 30 minutes
without looking and acting pathetic,
then I will know that I am getting somewhere.

I'll have Ryan take pictures of my victory dance.

How Lucky Are We?

The Pink Eye Fairy Came to Our House this morning


We are so thrilled with this experience

I am especially happy at this moment
that my kids share everything
So that they could all get it at once.
In both eyes
(this is new since these pictures were taken this morning)

And my kids love to have eye drops put in their eyes.
They don't scream or kick or hit
So that I have to sit on them and pry their eyes open.



I have spent the entire day cursing

1.the nursery at church
2.the daycare at the gym
3. the preschool

and using and most of a bottle of hand sanitizer


and half a container of Clorox wipes.

I have also spent the entire day
wishing blessings on the pediatrician
(no sarcasm here!)
who very kindly called in the prescription for the eye drops


instead of making me haul this whole snotty crying crew
into the office so that I could pay $25 dollars per kid
just to tell me that they have pink eye.
Bless you Nurse Samantha,
and Dr. Wilcox,
Bless you.

Girlfriend's Got It Going ON!

This is how Cory (Holly's Husband and Brynley's Dad)
Delivered the Brynney Babe
To my house today.



First of all,
Its February.
Which means, ITS COLD OUTSIDE!

But whatever, Spaghetti straps it is.
Cory says he barely won the hard fought battle
to get the black coat on her arms,
BUT NO ZIPPAGE
That would cover the gown



We are going to the gym promptly at 5.
Evidently Snow White is going with us.


Notice the care and precision
with which her silver ballet flats are placed,
on the wrong feet.

Don't they just add that little something extra?


Brynley also worked hard on this hair,
so I thought it only fair to give it a little shout out as well.

She's working on volume right now,
and we're experimenting with height, especially in the back


And seriously,
What is a girls ensemble without the bag?
Adds a nice touch to the yellow, red and blue nightgown
and the silver shoes
Don't you think?

Holly and Cory assured me that she was not dressed this way this morning,
but that the fashion show evolved throughout the day
And DIVA B would have it no other way.

Watch out Heidi Klum
Bryn is starting her own runway project.