Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Do what is right - The Integrity Project Part 2

So in my quest to not avoid my life
I have avoided my blog.

great.


Evidently I am having a hard time
escaping avoidance.

but for today,

I keep humming this hymn from church.
My favorite verse goes like this

Do what is right
Be faithful and fearless
Onward, Press Onward
The Goal is in sight.


I often have a hard time with this,
I am ashamed to admit,
with all of it,
So I think this verse is going to be
my theme for the week.

The do what is right,
doesn't seem hard,
I don't cheat or steal, or lie
but sometimes,
Doing what is right,
conflicts with doing what I want to do

and there lies the rub.

Sometimes
I want to lay on the couch and read a book
not get up and pick up the toys
and put the laundry away
Some days
I don't care
if there are sinks full of dishes
or aprons to be made.
Somedays
I don't care
if my kids are in pajamas all day
and there are four bedrooms to be tidied.

Those days I feel like my soul looks like this
Cluttered, Overwhelmed, A little rusty.

But I made my life what it is.

I chose it.
I chose to be a mom.
I chose to be at home with my kids.
I chose to start a little business.

Doing what is right,
means doing all the things
that come along with my choices

it means Choice and Accountability,
it means
I need to buck up and be accountable

No justifying a way out of the responsibility
that comes with the choices I made.

So today,
Today I will make all the beds.
Today I will hug my children,
and try to teach them to do what is right,
and why it is so important.
I will do the dishes,
and I will try to remember

That I know what is right,

and I will try to keep in mind the reason
that I am trying so hard to do what is right.

Scrubbing toilets isn't fun,

But when I am doing what I know is right
when I am being responsible
with the gifts that God has given me,
my spirit feels it,
and happiness and peace settle.
No matter what the chore is.


That's the goal.

When do you feel the most connected to your spirit?

Am I the only one that avoids
and then feels unsatisfied?



Stay tuned,
tomorrow is

Be faithful and fearless.

7 comments:

The Chezik Family said...

I love it. Thank you for your honesty and insight!

Bernie and Doll said...

I Love You!

Kasi said...

you rock.

I go in cycles. My home and life will be super organized and I'll be so on top of things for awhile, and then I get PMS or just plain lazy and it all goes to pot. And then of course I feel like crap.

However, I do think there are a million things more important in life than always having the dishes done. I was talking to Kevin about this last night. How some days I don't do any housework or bills or anything creative and I feel like I haven't done a single thing all day. But in reality, I've played with my kids, I've talked to friends who were having a hard day, I've read my scriptures, I've read bedtime stories, I've taken care of my kids physical and emotional and spiritual needs. So really, I've done all the important things that day, even if my house is a mess.

Sara Newton said...

I agree with you. I feel a connection to my spirit when I'm getting things done that I know need to be done and I often feel unsettled until they are done. And books are always calling to me, so I'll make my bed and sit in there and read...thus avoided the unsettled feeling I feel in the rest of the house. That's how I avoid. I'm working on it though, you're giving me a little more motivation.

Randi said...

I like this post a lot. I never really thought of responsibility as being righteous... just thought it was a chore, but I feel more determined after reading this. Thanks

greenolive said...

Andi, you and I are so much alike. I too feel great when I actually do it. I feel the satisfaction of doing the right thing but it's the starting part that's hard for me. Oh this is Sarah (Miller) by the way, in case you were wondering who greenolive was.

ThisIsMyLife said...

Well Andi, I'm gonna have to say that you have hit the nail on the head with this one. I just started blogging again and am so encouraged by this post. This is exactly why I've started again...reading other people's stories and realizing that I'm not alone in the struggles I face. My struggles are a bit different, but they're still struggles...I have major ocd tendencies that keep me at the opposite end of the spectrum from you, so it's encouraging for me to read about the things you take time for. I am learning that it's all about balance...something I struggle with. Take time to keep things tidy but make sure you are there for your children and spouse as well! And the whole weight thing...it's so frustrating when you've lost the weight before so why is there no self control now?!? I'm in the same boat with you on that one!
It was good reading your blog. Thanks for the encouraging words. I look forward to reading more!

Erica (Housour) Egolf