Monday, August 24, 2009

Be Faithful and Fearless- The Integrity Project Part 3



Its overcast today


I can't hang laundry on the line

I have a sore throat
and a pounding head.

My kids cannot seem
to get along and be happy.

I have to work at 7 am
for the next 3 mornings in a row.

I was thinking about this post all morning

not feeling it.

Then I hopped over
to my friend Jamie's Blog
Her post today was so lovely.
So heartbreaking and beautiful,
and the
epitome of faithful and fearless.

Thank you Jamie for the inspiration


It made me think a lot.

A LOT

About devastation,
dashed hopes,
unrealized dreams,
reaching for the unreachable
,
about how it seems
that just when I am crawling out of the hole
a huge wave crashes that washes me right back in.

When I am having a hard time,
this seems so overwhelming.

I think this is when being faithful comes in.

faithful- keeping faith; maintaining allegiance; constant; loyal faithful friends marked by or showing a strong sense of duty or responsibility; accurate; reliable
(as found on yourdictionary.com)

I love
all the aspects of this definition.

Being faithful doesn't mean being perfect,
its means keeping faith

it means finding your responsibilities and duties
and being constant in them


It means, that you keep going (you maintain allegiance)
when it all seems like a little too much.

It means having hope
when the world seems bleak,
that tomorrow will have beauty in it
even if the heartbreak is there right beside it.


So this brings me to the fearless part.
Once again,
I love this definition

fearless-not faltering or hesitating because of fear or discouragement;
undismayed; intrepid.

It says no where in there,
that when you are fearless
there is no fear or discouragement
it just says you don't falter because of it.


There will be hard things in my life

sometimes its a headache and grumpy children
sometimes its wondering
if its really worth the hassle and heartache.
Sometimes its just feeling too tired
to attempt to change what I am doing

even when I know I could be doing better.

But if I want to claim
being faithful and fearless,
then that means I have to keep moving,
I need to remain devoted
I need to keep moving towards what is right.
Even when I am daunted.


I need to keep reaching for
a greater love
a greater understanding
a greater knowledge.


I need to

"Do what is right
Be faithful and fearless."

Now to put it into practice.
The hard part.


P.S.
I just finished this post

and with a resolve to move forward
I find a quiet house
(this kids are playing Batman, Robin, and Kitty Girl together)
the Tylenol has finally kicked in
and the sky now looks like this.

all within about 45 minutes.

Talk about faith inspiring.

2 comments:

Jamie Moyer said...

Thank you Andi. I love that being faithful doesn't mean being perfect, what a relief huh? Your integrity project is a good one and I think I may join you for the journey!

Kasi said...

I love these posts. I need them.